We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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