We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
