Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
