and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
