the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Found your dick twin last night
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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