He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize