I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
