you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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