just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize