I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
