I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
