I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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