Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
