We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize