Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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