the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
