He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
