After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
