doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
