i think my mom watched the whole time
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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