Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You took a bar mat shot.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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