maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
