I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
