i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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