Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
