well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
