I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize