She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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