If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
