Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
