you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
