Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
