There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
