oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
