so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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