Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
