Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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