Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
