They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
did i walk over a car last night?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
