i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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