i barfeds in our rink
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
