evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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