therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
