sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
