1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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