i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
