she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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