people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
