She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
