so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
