Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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