I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
