it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
