Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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