3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize