We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
