It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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