Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
