I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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