Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
