Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
