1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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