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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
How does it feel to date your dad?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
The Olympian is in my bed
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