now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
