I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
