i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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