i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
