I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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