I puked a lego.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
