don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
