I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
