I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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