My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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