ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
