Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
