last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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