So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
